On Death

So I've been reading a lot about death the last couple days. Not intentionally. It's just happened to come up in a couple books I'm working through this week.

This has resulted in my thinking about death. And the time before death. And how that time should be spent. You know, now that I think about it, this reminds me of one of my semi-recent posts: Borrowed Time.

Anyway, back to today. Let me start by giving you a sampling of what I've been reading and then tell you what's running through my very scattered brain.

The first book is Meditations by the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. No, I didn't just pick it up because the cover looks cool - it's for school. To be honest though, I don't totally dread reading it. Aurelius isn't all that boring.

Meditations is a book of personal thoughts, resolutions, and observations of the world from the worldview of a Stoic philosopher/emperor shortly after the time of Jesus. Aurelius' goal was to live a virtuous and moral life. Here are his thoughts on death:

Death: something like birth, a natural mystery, elements that split and recombine.

Not an embarrassing thing. Not an offense to reason, or our nature.
(Meditations, Book 4)

People who are excited by posthumous fame forget that the people who remember them will soon die too. And those after them in turn. Until their memory, passed from one to another like a candle flame, gutters and goes out.

But suppose that those who remembered you were immortal and your memory undying. What good would it do you? And I don't just mean when you're dead, but in your own lifetime. What use is praise, except to make your lifestyle a little more comfortable?
(Meditations, Book 4)

Those two excerpts basically cover Aurelius' views on death as told in his Meditations. According to him, death is not something to be feared and there is absolutely no use in trying to get people to remember you and your fame.

The second book I've been reading this week that brought up the subject of death when I least expected it is Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I'm not very far into it yet, but his perspective on death and "posthumous fame" still gave me pause.

In about fifty years (give or take a couple of decades), no one will remember you. Everyone you know will be dead. Certainly no one will care what job you had, what car you drove, what school you attended, or what clothes you wore. This can be terrifying or reassuring, or maybe a mix of both.
(Crazy Love, ch 2)

That's pretty straightforward. The chapter containing these sentences is about how everything and every time is about God - including the miniscule piece of eternity that our lives occupy.

Reading these books at the same time has left me thinking a lot about death, as I mentioned before. But it hasn't been depressing. In fact, the result of all my meditation on death has been that I've been thinking about life a lot. Particularly my life. It may be an easy question, but who is my life supposed to glorify?

Now, Aurelius was not a Christian. In fact, even though his book is full of virtues and morals, he heavily persecuted the Christians. It was a crime not to worship Caesar and guess who the Christians didn't worship? His answer is that your life isn't really meant to glorify anyone. You go about your business, try to do the right things, and eventually die.

Francis Chan on the other hand is a pastor. He is so passionate about his faith. So his answer is that our lives are supposed to glorify God - even though they are incredibly short in light of eternity. He uses the illustration of all of us being extras in a movie about God to make his point.

We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don't know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about my making much of God. First Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." That is what each of our two-fifths of a second is about.
(Crazy Love, ch 2)

Question: Who is my life supposed to glorify?
Answer: God.

Harder Question: Who does my life glorify?
Harder Answer: Usually me.

It's not natural to instantly give God the glory or to act in every little thing in a way that honors Him. But that's what we've got to strive to do. God is too great and wonderful for us to make this about us! Even Aurelius realized that fame and glory don't actually do us any good. So if they're not going to help us out anyway, we may as well make our lives about God, right?

But that's not how it's supposed to work either. We don't just glorify God because our glory won't last. Our lives should be lived as a response to everything He's done for us. For me, that includes salvation, putting me in the beautiful mountains of Virginia, piecing together my family so that I understand His picture of adoption, letting me be homeschooled, and tons and tons of other stuff. What does it mean for you?

When I think about all the stuff God has given me in my life that I don't deserve, it makes me want to live for Him. Yes, I still mess up. All. The. Time. But His grace means I can try again. I don't have to stay down.

I'm going to leave you with a quote from Francis Chan, because he said it well.

The point of your life is to point to Him. Whatever you are doing, God wants to be glorified, because this whole thing is His. It is His movie, His world, His gift.
(Crazy Love, ch 2)

-Kira

Borrowed Time

A while ago (I honestly can't remember when), I was having a conversation with my mom about I don't remember what. It must have had something to do with big decision making or spending time or something like that because she told me about doing random things for her boss at a job a long time ago. None of the other employees wanted to do things like drive across town to get something from the store, but she was okay with it.

When asked why, she said that her boss was paying her for her time so it was up to him how she spent it. It didn't really matter whether she was at a desk or in the car - she was being paid to give control of that time to someone else.

This wasn't just a random story though - she had a point. Our whole lives are the exact same way. They belong to God and we should be happy to spend them however He pleases.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

That thought is so incredible to me. God spent so much to save us and so our bodies, lives, and (on a smaller scale) time belong to Him.

Just the idea that every second of every day that I live belongs to God changes how I think and the choices I make. Think about it - what if you had to report to God what you did all day? Would you be on Facebook right now? Would you be done with schoolwork by now? I know I wouldn't waste time nearly as much.

But wasting time can happen in a lot of different ways. It might be spending too long on Facebook. But it also might be reading a trashy novel. It could be all sorts of things. Just because we seem to be doing something good (like reading) doesn't mean the actual thing we're doing is edifying.

We are called to use our lives to further the kingdom of God and every second that we waste is a second that we're not doing that.

That's not to say it's wrong to rest - just the opposite. Rest is a very good thing, but it must be done wisely. Too much is laziness, too little isn't good for you.

God has only given us so much time on this earth. We've got to be good stewards of it.

- Kira

Mirror, Mirror

You're beautiful. (Or handsome - girls aren't the only ones who struggle with their looks) The problem is, it can be hard for you to see that. You know that one friend of yours is prettier and that other one wears nicer clothes. So, if you're not up to that standard yet, how could you even consider yourself beautiful?

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

We've all heard the verse. Every time the topic of beauty comes up, someone reminds us that it isn't all there is to this life. Of course we know that. So why are we still so concerned with our looks?

I'm writing this for me as much as anybody else because this is something I've struggled with for a long time. I envy the girl that hasn't. Why shouldn't I do what I can to become prettier? It would make me feel better and I want to look good to the people around me.

Hm. I want to look good to the people around me.

Since when has that been the right reason to do anything? We all know this, too. Don't change yourself for other people. But we still want to.

If we know all these things, why do we still want so badly to be beautiful (or at least reach the point where we consider ourselves beautiful)? We know it's deceitful and vain and we know that we shouldn't be trying to impress other people with our looks. But we still want to.

It all comes down to sin. (Doesn't everything?)

Vanity is not okay. Vanity is nothing more than pride - it's caring about what other people think about our looks. In most cases, vanity is also dissatisfaction with the bodies God's given us. We wish we had bigger eyes, clearer skin, straight hair. Then we would be pretty enough.

I was recently given a prayer journal and told to write in it every day. It's helping me to grow in my prayer life and, I think, my relationship with God. Which means it's made me realize some things about myself that I'm not too happy about. One of those is my vanity. I wrote out a prayer asking God to take it from me. I really wanted it to just disappear. Then about a week later (when my pride hadn't just vanished), I wrote out a different prayer. This was one of confession.

Because vanity is a sin, we can't just act like it's only a problem common to teenage girls and it's not really a big deal or just something we should be pitied for. It is a big deal. We are telling God that we are not satisfied with the bodies he lovingly crafted for us; that we would rather humans think us beautiful than our Maker. And that's wrong.

At the same time though, vanity doesn't just disappear into thin air, never to be seen again. We can want it to, but it's a process. We don't grow all at once.

So while we're all growing together, let's all remember together that we are beautiful in God's eyes. Cheesy? Maybe. But you know it's true. And you know that charm is deceitful and you know you don't have to make yourself look different for other people. Our bodies are for honoring God, not gaining attention.

Mirror mirror, mirror on the wall

Telling those lies, pointing out your flaws

That isn't who you are, that isn't who you are.

It might be hard to hear but let me tell you dear

If you could see what I could see I know you would believe

That isn't who you are, there's more to who you are!

...I see you dressed in white, every wrong made right.

I see a rose in bloom at the sight of you, oh so priceless!

Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable,

Darling it's beautiful. I see it all in you

Oh so priceless!

- "Priceless" For King and Country

(and no spoilers - I haven't seen the movie yet :)

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

See you later, beautiful.

-Kira