Hard Words to Say

"You're right."

Some of the hardest words in the world to say. They seem to twist up your stomach before you can finally push them out, often just barely loud enough to hear.

No one wants to be proved wrong, let alone admit to it. For a very long time, I was more likely to try to continue arguing for the wrong side than to concede a point, even after knowing I was in the wrong.

It doesn't matter how trivial or important the matter - everyone wants to be right. It all comes down to pride. We feel a need to be seen as great in the eyes of people around us. By God's definition, that makes us fools.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Proverbs 12:15

We're all born fools, with a desire to win every argument, triumph in every debate. But there is hope for us. God doesn't just leave us with the news that we're fools; He gives us the example of a wise man to follow - the example of listening to advice.

Ah, listening to advice! What a marvelously difficult thing to do. How much easier it is to remain a fool and think yourself right than to listen to someone with more wisdom and learning. And yet, that is what we must do if we are to grow in our walk with God.

We were not saved so that we could only be forgiven our sins, but so that we could grow to be more like Christ in our character. A crucial piece to that puzzle is learning from those who are wiser than ourselves when we are shown to be wrong.

I'll be the first to admit that I hate saying that I'm wrong. There's something about it that seems to diminish me as a person. I feel like I'm putting myself below the other person and elevating them above me. (Hey, wait - isn't that what Philippians 2:3 says to do anyway? Well...back to the topic at hand) If I can't be right about things, why should I try? Why should anybody listen to me? I want people to respect me and my opinion and my advice. But I can't give advice unless I can take it.

Listening to the wise words of people more mature in their faith than us makes us wise along with them. When we accept criticism and input from authority graciously and gratefully, we are working toward being like Christ, growing in wisdom.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a rightous man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:9

As painful as it is to admit when we're in the wrong and accept instruction from other people, it's worth it. The rewards well outweigh the difficulty.

So next time you find yourself in the wrong, try saying those two little words: "You're right." They become easier with practice.

-Kira

Mirror, Mirror

You're beautiful. (Or handsome - girls aren't the only ones who struggle with their looks) The problem is, it can be hard for you to see that. You know that one friend of yours is prettier and that other one wears nicer clothes. So, if you're not up to that standard yet, how could you even consider yourself beautiful?

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. - Proverbs 31:30

We've all heard the verse. Every time the topic of beauty comes up, someone reminds us that it isn't all there is to this life. Of course we know that. So why are we still so concerned with our looks?

I'm writing this for me as much as anybody else because this is something I've struggled with for a long time. I envy the girl that hasn't. Why shouldn't I do what I can to become prettier? It would make me feel better and I want to look good to the people around me.

Hm. I want to look good to the people around me.

Since when has that been the right reason to do anything? We all know this, too. Don't change yourself for other people. But we still want to.

If we know all these things, why do we still want so badly to be beautiful (or at least reach the point where we consider ourselves beautiful)? We know it's deceitful and vain and we know that we shouldn't be trying to impress other people with our looks. But we still want to.

It all comes down to sin. (Doesn't everything?)

Vanity is not okay. Vanity is nothing more than pride - it's caring about what other people think about our looks. In most cases, vanity is also dissatisfaction with the bodies God's given us. We wish we had bigger eyes, clearer skin, straight hair. Then we would be pretty enough.

I was recently given a prayer journal and told to write in it every day. It's helping me to grow in my prayer life and, I think, my relationship with God. Which means it's made me realize some things about myself that I'm not too happy about. One of those is my vanity. I wrote out a prayer asking God to take it from me. I really wanted it to just disappear. Then about a week later (when my pride hadn't just vanished), I wrote out a different prayer. This was one of confession.

Because vanity is a sin, we can't just act like it's only a problem common to teenage girls and it's not really a big deal or just something we should be pitied for. It is a big deal. We are telling God that we are not satisfied with the bodies he lovingly crafted for us; that we would rather humans think us beautiful than our Maker. And that's wrong.

At the same time though, vanity doesn't just disappear into thin air, never to be seen again. We can want it to, but it's a process. We don't grow all at once.

So while we're all growing together, let's all remember together that we are beautiful in God's eyes. Cheesy? Maybe. But you know it's true. And you know that charm is deceitful and you know you don't have to make yourself look different for other people. Our bodies are for honoring God, not gaining attention.

Mirror mirror, mirror on the wall

Telling those lies, pointing out your flaws

That isn't who you are, that isn't who you are.

It might be hard to hear but let me tell you dear

If you could see what I could see I know you would believe

That isn't who you are, there's more to who you are!

...I see you dressed in white, every wrong made right.

I see a rose in bloom at the sight of you, oh so priceless!

Irreplaceable, unmistakable, incomparable,

Darling it's beautiful. I see it all in you

Oh so priceless!

- "Priceless" For King and Country

(and no spoilers - I haven't seen the movie yet :)

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

See you later, beautiful.

-Kira