Despite All This

Some of My Writing

 Let's get something straight. I love to write. As in, I really love to write. As in, I have started what I hope to turn into a novel someday. And I spent hours working on it yesterday (why I had hours to myself yesterday is another story and more explanation than I want to get into right now).

Anyway, I've been thinking lately about why I write. And I think my little reasons vary from day to day: because I'm excited to write, because I want to get published (not a good one), because I have a lot of thoughts to get down. Little stuff like that.

But what's my main reason for writing? Why did I ever start writing, and why did I keep going? I've always fancied myself an eloquent writer. I was writing "novels" in first grade (read: ten pages stapled together with a sentence or two and a hand-drawn picture on each page). So why did I do that? I think it was because I wanted to get published (again, not a good reason), but that was almost seven years ago so I don't really remember.

Then the stories got longer. I think that was when I wanted to impress people with my "amazing" writing skills and I realized that I couldn't draw to save my life.

But what about now? I don't really know. Looking back, it's easier to see what my different attitudes were toward different things (like I was really prideful - it was pretty bad) but while I'm still living this section of my life, it's difficult to realize what I'm doing wrong. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.

I'm going to ask God to help me to see my faults and I'm going to ask Him to help me to overcome them because I cannot do it by myself. I don't want to be blind to what I'm doing wrong, but it is so easy to be blind when it's my sin that I'm dealing with.

I know I'm fallen. I know I can't fix that. But I also know that God still loves me, despite all this. He created me in His image and He's going to love me forever.

-Kira